While sitting in my ninth grade English class, staring down at the pages of the Odyssey, the way I understood myself changed forever. I felt the room around me blur, almost like the rest of the people in the room were pushed away from me, and I became narrowly focused on the words on the page. I was reading them, but I was not making meaning of them. At that moment, I couldn't.

I live with bipolar disorder and, throughout the years, experiences like this peel back layers of my brain and the way it works. At each stage of my life, I’ve become more acutely aware of the warning signs that I am at risk for a depressive or manic episode.

Childhood

Even in my childhood years, there were warning signs of my mental health condition. While I wasn’t diagnosed until adolescence, I’m hopeful that my childhood experiences are useful for other caregivers.

The earlier a first psychotic episode is treated, the greater the likelihood for reducing relapses or severity of future episodes. For about a year when I was 10–11 years old, several nights a week I slept very little. I’d lie in my bed, staring at the shadows in the corners and on the walls. I’d make up stories for my toys, which sometimes helped me fall asleep, though often I’d end up in thought spirals.

Finish reading Nicole’s blog, Learning My Warning Signs Through Each Stage of My Life.

Nicole recently left a more than 20-year career in STEM education and is now pursuing her passion to support youth mental health and mental illness recovery through service and being a resource for parents and caregivers. Find her at www.iamoneinfive.com or email her at nbeeman22@gmail.com to connect.